First, venting. I went to a cancer hospital for a routine checkup. The doctors are excellent -- in their expertise. But I have to say, most of the docs and admin staff have little work ethics. ...

I went for one of those expensive special appointments, where three "expert" doctors are present. Because this kind of appointments are expensive, it's a lot easier to get in and saves me a lot of time that would have been spent waiting in lines. But I was shocked to find out later that one of the three doctors was actually an impostor -- not that he wasn't a doctor, but he wasn't the doctor he claimed to be when he signed off on the summary note. He was a young surgeon with the last name of Zhong (which was on the name tag he wore), but he signed the last name of Wang instead. The reason is probably because he as himself couldn't charge as much. When I realized that, I called back the department to ask the doctors names. The woman who answered said she didn't know -- which was hard to believe. I also realized that was probably why the admin staff refused to tell me the doctors' names before I went in and why the doctors themselves were avoiding the question when I asked them their names.

I would have been happy with the young doctor if he didn't sign a false name. He was actually a pretty good doctor. But did he know how wrong it is to lie to his patients? In the U.S., perjury is a crime. I don't know what those doctors were thinking -- that their patients were so dumb that they didn't deserve to know? There were people traveling long distance on trains to see a decent doctor here, and all they get is this?

All the admin staff acted like they could care less. One even said out loud that she wished the appointments were all canceled so she could have a relaxed afternoon. Another doctor, in the middle of chatting with a friend, forgot to prescribe me one of the tests I needed. Haven't these people have any friends or family members who were once sick? Didn't anyone tell them treating the patients kindly and civilly is also part of their job?

I know someone would say, "You should have known this before you made the decision to move back." Well, I did know this! I did know this is the reality and I did mentally prepare myself. But what's the reality doesn't necessarily make it right. What's been always happening might not mean it should or will be like this forever.

Old songs, old times. I'm not sure why, but I've been listening to Zhao Chuan a lot lately. Getting on the bus to the hospital for my checkup, I put on my iPod and turned to the Zhao Chuan songs. These songs are at least 10 years old -- I listened to them when I was in college in China. And this time they brought me back to the old times -- the fall of 2005, when my middle sister and I sang along these songs on our way to the clinics for my cancer treatment.

Actually both my sisters and I love Zhao Chuan's songs, and the days of my cancer treatment, when both my sisters went to the U.S. to help out, became some of my most cherished time with them.

I still remember my oldest sister would cook up any dish that came across my mind -- It doesn't matter whether she knows how to cook it. She would do it oh so bravely. And I would devour it as long as I'm not vomiting from my chemo. I remember my oldest sister dragging me out to take a walk every day -- no matter how much I hated it. I was extremely weak in the beginning and could walk less than a block before having to turn back, while at the end of her two-month stay, we were walking for an hour every day.

I remember my middle sister gave up celebrating her son's first birthday to be with me for my surgery. I remember her cooking four different dishes for every meal, lest I get bored with the food and not eat enough. I remember her busy taking care of me during the day and working through much of the night to communicate with her colleagues during their daytime in Beijing.

I've know people who were hit hard emotionally by cancer. I've known people who refused to have pictures taken when they lost their hair during chemotherapy. But for me, the days of the treatment were difficult but precious memories. I learned so much about myself, and so much about family. And in the fall of 2005, I spent the best quality time of my life with my sisters. If nothing else, singing along Zhao Chuan's songs with my sisters made it sweet enough.

Haven't updated this blog forever. Haven't been on Facebook forever. Have a ton of email messages waiting for my reply. Haven't posted any photos of Beijing that everyone asked me to. I've been MIA, a bad friend in general, missing friends' birthdays and big events.

At the same time, so many things are going on with my dear friends, both in Beijing and far away. Two are pregnant and happily preparing to become mothers. One just celebrated her birthday with a big trip to Europe. One's business in Minnesota is flourishing. One is walking the A.T. Another seems to have just fallen in love.

Best wishes to all my friends! Even though I haven't written for so long, I've grateful to get updates from you and know you are doing well.

As far as my life, it's been mostly work and family. Been working for three months now and am getting used to the rhythm here. Happy with my job and coworkers are in general easy to get along with. The transition is going smoothly.

Haven't really had a life otherwise. There just doesn't seem to be enough time, and I feel like I'm so behind on my email and stuff. Beijing is huge and I haven't had a chance to explore it at all. On most weekends, I spend four hours on the road to see my parents, or spend three hours round trip to see a good friend who is a mother-to-be on one of the days. (I never got along with my family better. Mom and dad have been a great help.) The other day is used for grocery shopping and clothes shopping, (I donated most of my clothes, so I always need new clothes whenever a new season comes. This has proved to be a big headache, as the clothes here are very expensive in Beijing and not really my type.), and whenever possible, vegging out in front of the TV. Joined a gym a month ago but went only once -- the sales person who sold me the membership couldn't help but calling me the other day, saying, "I've never seen you here. Do you want me to pause the membership for a few weeks?"


I'm slowly getting used to things here, but still don't feel very much connected to the city --  the happenings, the talks of town. I guess the next big things are going to the gym regularly, a routine checkup, my mom's birthday, exploring the city a bit, and maybe even some spring sports. Already dreaming of vacation in September, when I hope to go to Singapore for a friend's wedding and maybe some sightseeing in a couple of neighboring countries. Also hope to take my parents on a trip domestically at some point.


So please keep being patient. I promise I'll post some photos by May 10th.

最看不上的，就是那些身强体壮的中青年男人，上地铁却飞奔向座位，抢座。或者是不缺胳膊不少腿的年轻人，看到站着乘车的老人，毫无反应。

每天上班进写字楼的大门，95％的人不会去用手扶住往回弹的门，考虑一下后面的人，偶尔有人如此做，却经常是外国人。

地铁拥挤的时候，一开门等车的人蜂拥而上，还在下车的人们挣扎着往下挤，边喊小学生都会说的话，“先下后上，先下后上！”


国内的大学多少年来扩招，培养出一批又一批的“人才”，却很多出来不但工作找不到，不具备任何实用的技能，而且连最起码的礼貌和道德都没有。好友一次看一本关于人的性格的书，边笑边迅速指出我属于书中所说的完美主义者，对自己高要求，对周围的人也严格要求。可是基本的礼貌、礼节和道德，不是任何文明社会的人应该具备的吗？为什么香港那么小的地方、人口密度那么高，社会却能有序地运行，人们排队上MTR, KCR， 无论在哪，慢行的人总是在自觉地 让出一部分道路，让快行的人通过。我们自豪的说中国现在什么都能和发达国家相比，有飞快发展的经济、有耸入云霄的高楼，可为什么没有人自豪地说，我们不随地吐痰、不随处点烟、不忘记考虑他人呢？

十年未见的朋友，因为家事突然出现在北京，晚上一起吃饭，我问他家人、工作的情况，他问我回国的感受。

两年多前治病时帮了很多忙的一位朋友，前两天前突然来了一封email，问我怎么样，还告诉我她最近搬了家，生意也很好。

最近很忙，基本上头也不抬地工作，之后就是休息、读书。没有精力去做其他的事，昨晚突然想起已经好几天没有和姐姐和好友通电话了。

生活中，永远没有足够的时间去多关心亲人、朋友，却总是有一天会发现工作、生活的变动，又要各奔东西。有很多人，真的就象流星划过夜空，永远不会再见。

终于加入了一家健身房，于是决定昨天去上一节瑜伽课。有朋友告诉我说，做瑜伽要去专业的瑜伽馆，但我只是想活动活动
腿脚，对瑜伽课没有那么高的要求，就去了健身房。

教课的老师很漂亮，每个动作好像也很到位，可是一堂课过后，还是觉得有点不适应。

老师经常会在做某个动作的时候，告诉大家这动作可以瘦腰、或收腹、或提臀。我对瑜伽了解很少，总觉得作瑜伽是为了健康、放松、修身养性之类的，听到这么罗罗嗦嗦的对美容效应的讲解，感觉怪怪的。

老师好像也蛮严格的。中间有一个动作我做不出来，就停下来了，老师带者责怪的口吻说，怎么不做了？我说，柔韧性不好，做不了这个动作。她立刻批评：就是柔韧性不好才要练嘛！

另一个动作，老师要求把膝盖放在耳朵两侧，有一个学生的动作不一样，老师竟然大声的说了3遍， 你听到我说的话了吗？ 并走到该学生面前，责令，别做了，
做的不好会受伤的。

希望她是救了那个学生一命，否则我会感觉从来没见过这么不平和的瑜伽老师，好像脾气比我还不如。